


Broken Judgement

by CalsBeanieProtection



Category: Ballum, EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:49:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25188217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalsBeanieProtection/pseuds/CalsBeanieProtection
Summary: I decided to do my own little twist on Ben's special episode.orThe one where Ben does another dodgy deal for Phil and Callum gets hurt.
Relationships: Ben x Callum - Relationship, Boyfriend x Boyfriend, Father x Son - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	Broken Judgement

_I can do this_. Ben isn't sure who he is trying to convince. His dad doesn't think he’s up to the job, given his lack of hearing as of late. It's never stopped him before though, and as he paces the living room, eyes frantically scanning the blueprint of the warehouse, he thinks of a plan in his head. _I'll need to check all entry points for any possible place that Hardcastle can have his heavy's. That'll need to be done tonight when Callum is sleeping._ He sighs heavily, mind wandering to his trainee police officer boyfriend, and how risky this job could be for Callum's career, as well as his relationship. The less he knows the better. Grabbing his jacket, he slips it on, before heading out the door, locking it behind him. Walking across the square, he notices his daughter barrelling towards him, Lola hot on her heels.

"Daddy!" she shouts enthusiastically as she launches herself into his arms.

  
"Hey Princess," Ben replies, spinning her around as she giggles.

  
"Where are you off to?" Lola asks, ensuring she's looking at him directly so he can understand.  
  
"My dad’s, what have you got planned for today?" Ben is quick to change the subject, trying to ensure Lola doesn't suspect anything.

"Nothing, little ladies still got that fever aint she? Can't do anything other than snuggle up and watch the Hanna Montana Movie for the Fiftieth time."

  
Ben laughs after a second of deciphering what she said, understanding his daughters love for the film, and his mind wanders to the day he watched it with Callum, and he asked questions throughout the whole film. Much like Lexi did her first time watching.

  
"Ben?" Lola repeats his name, touching his arm gently to regain his attention.  
"Hmm?" he questions.

  
"Callum. Are you staying at his tonight?"

  
"Oh right, yeah." Ben scratches the back of his head, keen to wrap up the conversation.   
  
"Listen, Lo I gotta go, can’t keep my dad waiting. I'll see you soon darling, be a good girl for your mum yeah?" he places a gentle kiss atop her head, before heading off in the direction of The Arches.  
  
Ben arrives at The Arches, before doing a quick survey of the area, ensuring nobody sees him enter. Satisfied that nobody is paying any mind to him, he slips inside and locks the door behind him. Walking over to the other side, he unlocks a cabinet, pulling out the gun he had someone stash there for him. _I'll prove to my dad I'm ready, that I can do this. I will make the Mitchell name mean something._ Thinking the thoughts don't always make them true, but Ben thinks them anyway.   
  
That's the thing with Ben Mitchell. He knows that no matter how hard he tries, he will never be enough for Phil. That doesn't stop him from trying though, no matter who gets hurt. Most of his trauma stems from his childhood, how he was taken away to live with his mum, having no clue about his dads’ side of the family. He was only given to Phil because Kathy was involved in a crash, that killed her, or so he was led to believe. He was thrust into the Mitchell family without a clue. His first time meeting his dad was seeing him fighting with his brother. He grew up with mounting expectations, he was Phil Mitchells son, and that came with problems. He couldn't just be that happy child dancing to Lady Gaga in his living room with his sister, he was told to be tough. To 'man up' and stand up for himself. That's what was drummed into his head. All he wanted was for his dad to love and accept him, and sometimes Ben knew that was wishful thinking. But he never gave up. He remembers finding out his mum had faked her death. he remembers the anger, the hurt and betrayal and in a way, he blames her for how he is sometimes. If she hadn't faked her death, he would still be living with her, he wouldn't know Phil, or feel an obligation to be a Mitchell. Part of him is glad though, that she did it, he wouldn't know Jay, Lola, and he wouldn't have Lexi. The sunshine in his life when the world is dark. He most certainly wouldn’t have Callum, the man who taught him to love, who looks at him as though he hung the moon with his own two hands. The man he’s about to lie to about quite possibly the most important job his father has ever expected of him. He knows he could tell him, but with Callum being a police officer, it wouldn’t end well when its eventually found out.

  
Sighing Ben places the gun in his rucksack, flinging it over his shoulder and heading for the door. He heads off to Callum's, knowing his boyfriend is at his training, so that he can hide the bag until tomorrow. Slotting the key in the lock, he's surprised to find Callum sitting in the living room, beer in hand.

  
"Cal, you're home."

  
Callum looks at Ben, a smile growing across his face at the sight of his boyfriend. Ben settles the rucksack on the floor, wedging it between the wall and a high standing unit.

  
"Hey, yeah, training finished early. What you are doing here?"

  
Ben looks at Callum, confusion flitting across his face, a moment that causes Callum to repeat his question. 

  
"Oh, was gonna surprise ya, but you're already here," he replies, a smile creeping through.

  
Callum untangles his legs and stands, his frame immediately towering over Ben's smaller one. He places his hand gently on Ben's shoulder, leaning forward to connect his lips to Ben's forehead. Ben sighs happily, resting his head on Callum's chest, his arms circling his waist. 

  
"Well, I'm surprised," he laughs gently.

  
"I missed you," Ben murmurs, pressing feathered kisses to Callum's chest. Callum smiles, and leads them to the couch, both men sinking into the furniture, Ben's head resting on Callum's stomach, their fingers entwined. A comfortable silence settles over them, as they watch the tv.

  
Ben looks down at their hands, noting the soft rubbing on his knuckles from Callum's thumb.  
Their hands are entwined, a representation of their hearts. Their love is like ivy, it needs ruin to make it grow. It entwines itself to its occupier, thorns sinking skin deep, holding a vice grip. That's what Ben felt, he was the ruin and Callum was the Ivy, growing tall to touch the sun, beaming its brightness upon them. Ben is the rugged wall in which Callum has embraced, allowing the thorns to sink tight within, holding his boyfriend tightly. Ben is scared. He is terrified of the way he feels for Callum, it’s nothing like he felt for Paul. It’s different. Light meeting dark, sun meeting moon. Good meeting evil. 

  
"Ben?" Callum speaks, the movement of his chest alerting Ben to it.

  
"Hmm?" he responds, lifting his head to look at Callum, their eyes colliding. 

  
"I'm out early tomorrow, are you staying?" Ben nods his response, before settling back into his hold.

  
The rest of the night is spent peacefully, Callum oblivious to Ben's inner turmoil, his feelings of conflict, and he's certainly oblivious to Ben's current plans. They order Chinese, both citing that they are too tired to cook and would rather just chill, before they stick on Disney+. They argue for a time about what to stick on before finally settling on The Mandalorian, Callum protesting he's only watching because Baby Yoda is cute. The cuddle close for a while, before making their way to bed, soft kisses being shared between the sheets, ‘I love you’ being whispered so softly, they could barely be heard. Finally, they settle into peaceful slumber, entangled against one another.   
  
When Ben wakes, he finds the bed empty, and reaches a hand to feel, but is met by nothing but coldness. A sign Callum vacated the bed quite some time ago. Ben sighs. Today is the day. He thinks to himself. He could feel nerves creeping upon him, a new symptom of his highly irritating new problem. Looking to the left, he spots a piece of paper perched against a photo of him and Callum, his name scrawled across in his boyfriends handwriting. Reaching over, he grabs it and opens it, trying his hardest to read the word on the page, a struggle without his contacts or glasses.   
_Had to go to training, didn't want to wake you. I made you breakfast, it’s in the microwave. See you tonight and stay out of trouble. I love you. Cal x_  
Ben smiles at the paper, before he heads off to eat the breakfast he was left. He showers, and dresses, pulling on his brown leather jacket, the jacket he tried to reserve for his less legal jobs. He places the note from Callum inside the top pocket before picking up the rucksack from its place. He looks around, before heading out and making his way over to his dads, guilt consuming him.

Unbeknownst to Ben, Callum knew exactly what he was up to, having seen the pieces of paper Ben had tried so hard to hide. He knew there was a deal taking place tonight and he knew he wasn’t going to sit there and allow Ben to put himself in danger. He could barely hear Callum, let alone any of Danny’s dodgy men.

Looking down at the pages in front of him, he studies the map of the warehouse closely, noting all the red circles indication where Ben and Phil are to meet Danny. He made sure it was engraved into his mind, before standing and toying with the gun that felt heavy in his right hand. He’d been taught the basics of the gun, through his police training, but it still felt foreign in his hand. Callum knew he needed protection, that Danny Hardcastle wasn’t the type of bloke to simply bring his fists to a fight.   
Taking a deep breath in he grabs the keys to the car he’d rented out of town, asking an old army mate to change the plates so it wasn’t traceable back to him and heads down to wait for Ben to emerge. It doesn’t take long before he sees Phil exit the house first, a hat hiding the baldness of his head and Callum laughs to himself as he adjusts the old beanie that resides on his own head. He might never have done a dodgy thing in his life, but Callum knew better than to give people anything that could identify him, and his old beanie hid his normally gelled hair out of sight. He waited a minute or so before he allows the car to crawl slowly after Phil’s. He notes three men in the car with Danny, but he can’t be sure if that’s them all or whether or not there are others. 

  
It takes nearly an hour for the two cars in front to stop, the old warehouse coming into view. The men step out, checking their surroundings, not noticing Callum’s car a distance away, shrouded by darkness. He watches closely as they enter through a side door, and Callum takes this as an opportunity to step out of the car, his training of keeping low and light on his feet kicking in as he creeps quickly but quietly over to the door opposite where Ben and Phil had entered. Slipping inside he draws the gun from his pocket, clocking it and keeping it low and centred. Callum feels his heart pounding in his ears. He’s never done anything like this in his whole twenty-nine years of living and the shaking in his hands prove it. Regardless he creeps down the corridor, dimly lit by the last of the days sun. His silhouette is cast upon the cracked, unkempt walls. Callum hears voices, hushed tones and almost like a moth drawn to a flame, his ears hear Ben’s voice, and it immediately relaxes him. 

  
“Well well, what do we have here?”

  
Callum freezes at the voice, realisation that it came from behind him and feels the barrel of a gun being pressed harshly into his back. His blood runs cold as a hand comes into view, demanding the gun in his own hand be surrendered. Shaking hands hand it over, and a muttered “walk” causes his feet to move forward, the voices getting louder. Callum feels his breathing accelerate as he’s pushed forward by the gun at his back before he’s entering a small box room, all men standing with their backs against the door.

  
“Look what I found creeping around,” the man behind him declares, alerting the room to their presence. He watches as they whip their heads round and his eyes immediately find the panicked blues of Ben’s. His expression changes and Callum can’t help but feel guilty at the fear etched across his boyfriend’s face.

  
“You brought the old bill? Danny snarls, getting into Phil’s face. Phil pushes him back before replying that Callum is nothing to do with him. He watches with bated breath as Ben is grabbed by one of the henchmen standing beside him and forced in front of Danny.

  
“Think you were smart bringing your copper boyfriend?” he shouts into his good ear.

  
“No, I had no idea he was gonna be here,” Ben rushes his words out before looking directly at Callum. “What are you doing here? How did you even know?”

  
“It doesn’t matter, I’m sorry,” Callum mutters back. 

  
“Well isn’t this nice? You get to watch your boyfriend die,” Danny declares, glee evident in his voice.

Fear settles throughout Callum as he watches Danny raise the gun, pointing it directly at him.

  
“NO!” Ben shouts loudly, before swinging round to look at his dad, his eyes begging. Phil looks at him, before nodding and signing the word ‘beg’ discreetly. 

  
“Please, there must be a way to sort this, callus won’t say anything, he wouldn’t want to hurt me, right Cal?” Callum doesn’t get a chance to respond before Phil tackles one of the men beside him, knocking him unconscious with a piece of wood. Ben knees Danny, making direct contact with his balls and watches s he doubles over in pain. Callum swings round punching the man behind him, causing him to fly backwards and the gun sliding across the floor. Everything happens so quickly and Ben smiles, grabbing Callum’s hand as his dad makes a run for it. He stops when he realises Callum isn’t following and his hand slips out of his grasp. Confused he turns around in time to see Callum fall, a smirking Danny lowering his hand, and its then Ben notices the gun residing in it.

  
“NO! CALLUM!” Ben screams rushing over as Callum’s white t shirt stains red with blood. 

  
“Ben go, I called Jack before I got here, you need to leave, the police will be here soon” Callum speaks softly, but his voice is raspy.

  
Hearing this causes Danny to run, leaving his men behind before grabbing the money. He didn’t want to be there when the old bill arrived.

  
Ben presses his hands on Callum’s thigh, his hands turning scarlet with Callum’s blood and he begins to panic.

  
“Can you stand? I’m not leaving you here.”  
Callum lifts his hand to cup at Ben’s cheek.

”The police aren’t coming, I didn’t tell Jack either, I just wanted him to leave,” Callum says honestly, his face twisting in pain.

Ben notices, “please, we need to get you checked out.”

“When will I be enough for you? That’s what you asked your dad once wasn’t it? Now I’m asking you. When will my love ever be enough for you Ben? I say I love you; you say it back and yet the very next day you’re out here fighting for your dads love again. A love you don’t need and a love he won’t give you. When will just mine be enough?”

  
Ben doesn’t understand where Callum’s questions came from and they throw him slightly off guard, “I do love you, he’s my dad though.”

  
“He’s just some bloke that got your mum pregnant, you also said that to me, maybe its time to take your own advice Ben,” Callum gasps in pain, he hears Ben shout his name before succumbing to the darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments appreciated. :)


End file.
